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Newest Member: subtlysanguine

Reconciliation :
Regret

Topic is Sleeping.
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 Howcthappen (original poster member #80775) posted at 2:41 AM on Monday, January 29th, 2024

We were watching old school game show Tattle Tales and the question was
Does you spouse say they regret the things they did or the things they didn’t do.

I asked my husband and he said he regrets the things he didn’t do. He regrets not effing up and cheating but I think it’s better to regret things he did do. But he says it’s not healthy.

What are your thought?

Three years since DdayNever gonna be the sameReconcilingThe sting is still present

posts: 227   ·   registered: Aug. 30th, 2022   ·   location: DC
id 8822798
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Ladybugmaam ( member #69881) posted at 3:46 PM on Monday, January 29th, 2024

I think WS have to work their own journey in accepting that they were the person who caused the BS's pain. If he's used this experience to do better, then I thinking dwelling in those past mistakes IS unhealthy. It sounds like ongoing shame.

But, if he's not done better or grown into a better person through this experience, then I think that he's rug sweeping.
JMHO

EA DD 11/2018
PA DD 2/25/19
One teen son
I am a phoenix.

posts: 495   ·   registered: Feb. 26th, 2019
id 8822831
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5Decades ( member #83504) posted at 4:14 PM on Monday, January 29th, 2024

HowCTH,

I think what he’s saying is that his regret about what he didn’t do - is he regrets he didn’t stop before he started the affair.


I think we all feel that way.

5Decades BW 68 WH 73 Married since 1975

posts: 170   ·   registered: Jun. 20th, 2023   ·   location: USA
id 8822836
Topic is Sleeping.
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