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Newest Member: Plantlady

General :
Goodbye Gift

Topic is Sleeping.
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BluerThanBlue ( member #74855) posted at 2:00 AM on Friday, March 1st, 2024

She used a different # to reach out to my WH and my stupid WH gave in, that is why they had that "short conversation".

Allegedly.

BW, 40s

Divorced WH in 2015; now happily remarried

I edit my comments a lot for spelling, grammar, typos, etc.

posts: 2115   ·   registered: Jul. 13th, 2020
id 8826621
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Tanner ( Guide #72235) posted at 5:01 AM on Friday, March 1st, 2024

She used a different # to reach out to my WH and my stupid WH gave in, that is why they had that "short conversation".

He is minimizing this whole thing. He met up with her to receive this "goodbye gift". He did not show up at a store and ask for "will call". The A was continued as soon as he had a "short conversation".

Dday Sept 7 2019 doing well in R BH M 32 years

posts: 3600   ·   registered: Dec. 5th, 2019   ·   location: Texas DFW
id 8826633
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Grieving ( member #79540) posted at 11:03 AM on Friday, March 1st, 2024

His story stinks to high heaven, and in your shoes I would just assume it’s a lie to cover up ongoing contact. People don’t randomly reach out months later to give an expensive goodbye gift and nothing else.

Husband had six month affair with co-worker. Found out 7/2020. Married 20 years at that point; two teenaged kids. Reconciling.

posts: 652   ·   registered: Oct. 30th, 2021
id 8826639
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Chaos ( member #61031) posted at 3:24 PM on Friday, March 1st, 2024

She used a different # to reach out to my WH and my stupid WH gave in, that is why they had that "short conversation".

Sadly - it doesn't matter. He either knew who it was and responded [BAD] or didn't know who it was and responded to a stranger [BAD]. There is no explanation or excuse for either.

Then - on top of that - went and picked up the Trojan Horse, I mean "gift".

If I were a betting person he didn't go to the store to get it - this isn't 1952. I'd bet my favorite pink sparkly high-end lip-gloss on that.

And I'm sure gave you the classic lame ass excuses from the Affair Handbook we've all heard before.

You have had a new DDay. And I am so very sorry.

BS-me/WH-4.5yrLTA Married 2+ decades-2 adult children. Multiple DDays w/same LAP until I told OBS 2018- Cease & Desist sent spring 2021 "Hello–My name is Chaos–You f***ed my husband-Prepare to Die!"

posts: 3912   ·   registered: Oct. 13th, 2017   ·   location: East coast
id 8826750
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sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 4:14 PM on Friday, March 1st, 2024

IMO, lying for months is more significant than actually accepting the gift. Defensiveness after your finding out about the lies is even more damning. I'm not saying your WS will never be a good candidate for R, but he isn't a good candidate now.

Often, it's not the A that causes D - rather, it's the WS's behavior after discovery that causes D.

fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex ap
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
You don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.

posts: 30455   ·   registered: Feb. 18th, 2011   ·   location: Illinois
id 8826776
Topic is Sleeping.
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