SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Not been here in a while. Not about to repost my entire storey but I find myself in a situation with no one IRL I trust to ask for opinions on this topic. So here goes.

Just heard from my Son that my mother has arranged to go to his mums (WexGF) for his 18th birthday this week. She arranged this directly with WexGF

Son will be at mine for the entire weekend so plenty of chance to have seen him at mine.

Am I justified to be so angry about this?

For context this is 4+ years post DD and 2.5 years post separation.

Just ask her why she didn’t come to your house?

I’ve been asking her the same thing for almost 3 years now. She does not get it she just decides that if I don’t know then it’s okay.

Then ask her why she goes to ex’s at all. I think you have a right to be upset with her. She obviously does not think about your feelings. Are you and the ex on good terms? Seems like there is a lot going on here.

Safe to say your mom wasn't on board with you moving on from your wExGF. Why exactly are you angry? You see it as her choosing your ex over you? She doesn't. She sees it as supporting you both. You can't really control this. You made your choice. She's making hers. I'm sure she knows your feelings about this, hence the secrecy, yet she did it anyway. You can get, and should be, upset, but it's not going to change that equation. Are you upset enough to reduce your mother's access to you? To go no contact? Because your options aren't much greater than that. Sucks but that's the reality of it. You have no real control of your mom or your ex's choices.

I'd let it go. Like others said, you can't do anything much about it. More family wants to spend time with your kiddo? Good.

It could also be that your mom doesn't trust what your ex is telling the kiddo and wants to field any bullshit that for ya to reduce arguments, but doesn't want to acknowledge that's what she's doing.

I could t described my situation and my choices any better than @grubs post above. That is a succinct appraisal of where I find myself. Life eh !?!

Sure, the anger is justified. You were hurt by secrecy and lies. Your mom is just trying to reduce drama, but she has basically deceived you. Maybe you can get through to her that a painful truth is better for you than a successful deception.