D is not a magic bullet, but for me it was when healing was able to ramp up exponentially. Anger is part of it, and totally normal. You are grieving the death of your M, the future you had planned, and the years you had to recalibrate based on his cheating. And grieving means you may experience anger, denial, bargaining, depression, and acceptance (any or all, and in any order, sometimes looping back around on them). So feel the anger. Accept the anger. Just don’t let it consume you and stick around too long. If you feel stuck with it, talk to an IC about it.
AND recognize the moments of peace, of calm, of excitement about a future and celebrate those. As you feel, process and release the anger, then you will find more positive emotions taking its place.
You should be proud of yourself for doing what you need and for not protecting him from the consequences of his own actions. I think that it’s important for children - adult or young - to see what real relationships look like. Sometimes they fail but not for the reasons that Hollywood and pop culture tell us. And they need to see that there is life after relationships if they fail. They need to see that hard times happen and you have to work hard to maintain them (even without cheating). My parents presented the fairytale image and I did not learn (through modeling them) how to fight, argue, set and enforce healthy boundaries — all of which are part of healthy marriages if handled well.
I know this is super scary. Read and re-read the pinned post at the top of this forum. And post here as you need to. One thing about this group is I can’t recall a single poster who regrets filing for D. Doesn’t make it easy, but at the end of the road, we find peace and happiness, albeit a different one than we had hoped for when we married.
Me: BS 57 (49 on d-day)Him: *who cares ;-) *. D-Day 8/15/2016 LTA. Kinda liking my new life :-)
**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **