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Newest Member: Opacaro

General :
Consequences arrive 2 years later

Topic is Sleeping.
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HouseOfPlane ( member #45739) posted at 12:12 AM on Friday, June 21st, 2024

HNHF, got it.

I went for a job interview one time, and was asked what I was most proud of. I said my marriage, how we had rescued it from the brink. As I was saying this, I wondered if the interviewer was on his third wife. 🤨

DDay 1986: R'd, it was hard, hard work.

“Tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life?”
― Mary Oliver

posts: 3300   ·   registered: Nov. 25th, 2014
id 8840253
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InkHulk ( member #80400) posted at 2:49 PM on Friday, June 21st, 2024

As a warning, I feel a lot of WS just think if they do everything right post A the marriage will improve or even the fabled "be better than before". For sure I know there are a lot of people here who say that, but I wonder how many more end up here where I am. My WW, though I guess she probably could be described as FWW now, but I haven’t gotten to that yet, is doing everything right, but it will never wash the stain off.

In fairness, you are still in the thick of the battle. Is the question you want answered whether those who came out with the "better than ever" M experienced the POLF? Whether this is just to be expected or is it an indication that things are off course for that beautiful outcome I know you want?

People are more important than the relationships they are in.

posts: 2431   ·   registered: Jun. 28th, 2022
id 8840324
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 HellIsNotHalfFull (original poster member #83534) posted at 3:09 PM on Friday, June 21st, 2024

Ink,

I don’t know if I really had a question. Maybe just starting a discussion. What I like about SI is that people understand the struggle, and sometimes it’s just reassuring to know that what I’m going through is normal.

I know I’m all over the place in this thread. A lot of things hit me hard these last weeks. Hit the two year marker of the end of the A, and a lot of memories came flooding in.

Now that I can breathe a little it’s like my mind just said, "well do you remember what happened on this day two years ago?"

Me mid 40s BH
Her 40s STBX WW
3 year EA 1 year PA.
DDAY 1 Feb 2022. DDAY 2 Jun 2022. DDAY 3/4/5/6/7 July 2024
Nothing but abuse and lies and abuse false R for three years. Divorcing and never looking back.

posts: 528   ·   registered: Jun. 26th, 2023   ·   location: U.S.
id 8840328
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InkHulk ( member #80400) posted at 6:44 PM on Friday, June 21st, 2024

Wow, I didn’t realize our timelines are within a couple weeks of each other.

Anyway, I hope you feel heard, then. I continue to resonate with many things you say, so either we’re both normalish or we’re twinsie crazy duh wink

People are more important than the relationships they are in.

posts: 2431   ·   registered: Jun. 28th, 2022
id 8840428
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OhItsYou ( member #84125) posted at 11:06 PM on Friday, June 21st, 2024

I think you are on the right track to enact some justice against AP that many never get.
Depends on the type of person you are, whether it will make you feel more whole or not.

posts: 196   ·   registered: Nov. 10th, 2023   ·   location: Texas
id 8840451
Topic is Sleeping.
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