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Newest Member: chickenchicken

Just Found Out :
Ten Years Ago

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 DailyReprieve (original poster member #46662) posted at 7:18 AM on Friday, August 9th, 2024

My apologies.

I inadvertently posted my story in JFO when I should've posted in General. It was late and I am half a knucklehead.

I will repost in General, along with my responses to the questions and comments here. Hope that works.

Thanks for the kind and thoughtful feedback.

[This message edited by DailyReprieve at 9:37 PM, Friday, August 9th]

posts: 229   ·   registered: Feb. 4th, 2015   ·   location: Casablanca
id 8845408
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Stevesn ( member #58312) posted at 1:05 PM on Friday, August 9th, 2024

Good to meet you. And than you for the update. I’m glad you were able to work through the pain of the last decade and create a stronger relationship.

I do not discount how difficult that is to do when faced with the betrayal from the person you trust the most.

Do you have boundaries set up now that ensure that a repeat of the past is very unlikely?

Take care.

fBBF. Just before proposing, broke it off after her 2nd confirmed PA in 2 yrs. 9 mo later I met the wonderful woman I have spent the next 30 years with.

posts: 3653   ·   registered: Apr. 17th, 2017
id 8845413
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ThisIsSoLonely ( Guide #64418) posted at 2:56 PM on Friday, August 9th, 2024

Although it often starts out the same, the infidelity post discovery journey is rarely the same for anyone. Glad to hear of your update and your positive, yet unfiltered story. I think sometimes, especially in the beginning, people think R is this ivory tower and those that reside there have made it to the top and are surrounded by rays of light and bask in that mythical form of perfect sunshine, instead of a long winding and sometimes rocky but sometimes serene and peaceful road - just like the rest of life.

Thanks for sharing!!!

[This message edited by ThisIsSoLonely at 2:56 PM, Friday, August 9th]

You are the only person you are guaranteed to spend the rest of your life with. Act accordingly.

Constantly editing posts: usually due to sticky keys on my laptop or additional thoughts

posts: 2488   ·   registered: Jul. 11th, 2018
id 8845453
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BrokenheartedUK ( member #43520) posted at 8:29 PM on Friday, August 9th, 2024

Congratulations on making it 10 years since Dday!! I’m also a member of the "class of 2014."

I can understand completely why the A with your brother (your brother!!!!) has been so hard to overcome. I’m wondering what happened with your relationship with him?? I’m also wondering why you never sought an IC?? AA is a fantastic tool and I’m glad that your fWS has become sober but AA is not a substitute for therapy but it can be incredibly useful to have therapy complement AA. I would strongly suggest that you seek individual counselling for yourself and start to work through some remaining issues. You can’t make your spouse get into therapy but the years you describe as her continuing to gaslight you are concerning.

Me: BS
He cheated and then lied. Apparently cheaters lie. Huh. 13 months of false R. Divorced! 8/16 3 teenage kids
"The barn's burnt down
Now
I can see the moon"
-Mizuta Masahide

posts: 3426   ·   registered: May. 24th, 2014
id 8845550
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BearlyBreathing ( member #55075) posted at 8:53 PM on Friday, August 9th, 2024

Congratulations on 10 years and on rededicating yourself to your health and sobriety. I hope the next ten years just keep getting better.

Me: BS 57 (49 on d-day)Him: *who cares ;-) *. D-Day 8/15/2016 LTA. Kinda liking my new life :-)

**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **

posts: 6192   ·   registered: Sep. 10th, 2016   ·   location: Northern CA
id 8845553
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