Adolfo ( member #79193) posted at 9:44 AM on Tuesday, September 24th, 2024
The1stWife
Another fact I have shared here at SI - everyone I know who was cheated on while dating or engaged, then married that cheater were cheated on during the marriage. More than once too.
Just wanted to say that serveral years after the cheating, lies, false reconciliation with more lies, and more, I did get back together with my fiancée. She has not cheated again during 35 years of marriage. There are always exceptions..
It has certainly caused other problems in the marriage, however.
[This message edited by Adolfo at 9:46 AM, Tuesday, September 24th]
Cooley2here ( member #62939) posted at 12:35 PM on Tuesday, September 24th, 2024
Women’s estrogen falls off a cliff after about age 35. Then the small amount of testosterone that we have "wakes up" and usually we get a ton more interest in sex. Looks like this happened to your wife. The problem is she should have focused that interest on you. Instead she cheated. I consider anything people do that has even a mild component of sexual interest that they keep hidden from their person cheating. I am not talking about thoughts. I am talking about actions. Where were you when this change happened? You were right there and she decided to indulge in whatever form this secret life took. She cheated. There might have been something physical or not. She took what bonds people together and focused it on him. Don’t be fooled by vagueness here. "Did you steal that bike and fall off? "No, I never stole a bike." "Then how did you scrape your knees?"
Go by Occam’s Razor.
When things go wrong, don’t go with them. Elvis
The1stWife ( Guide #58832) posted at 12:26 AM on Wednesday, September 25th, 2024
Adolfo. Thanks for the response. You are one of the lucky ones b/c no one I know had the same experience you did.
Sadly they were all cheated on — most of them more than once. Most ended up D. Those that stayed realized they married serial cheaters.
So glad it worked out for you.
Survived two affairs and brink of Divorce. Happily reconciled. 11 years out from Dday. Reconciliation takes two committed people to be successful.