Beverly717 (original poster new member #84012) posted at 5:54 PM on Thursday, September 19th, 2024
How do you manage when there is no where to go because of finances? He gets VA disability and SS. I get small amount of SS and have champva medical insurance as long as we are married. I can't get low income apartment because I have to inclued all monies of both incomes. If divorce I will lose insurance where I pay nothing for medical care and RX. We do have separate bedrooms and baths (a blessing) but shrare living room and kitchen. I just don't know how to deal with the constant pain of knowing he's just waiting for me to die or go to nursing home. I know I'm not what he wants because he's constantly online with women and sexual texting and chat rooms. The worst part is that he is not the person he led me to believe he was and that I was what he wanted and needed. Has anyone else dealt with this situation and if so, how? I'm on XANAX but it doesn't help much. Lately I think about taking the whole bottle and be done with this misery. I wonder how many others have ended their lives over the pain of betrayal?
Everyday a new lesson is learned.
leafields ( Guide #63517) posted at 6:48 PM on Thursday, September 19th, 2024
The suicide prevention line is 988. You can text or call.
There is no easy way out of the pain and it hurts for a long time. I was an emotional wreck for a year and it was about 2 years before I wasn't in so much pain.
Are you in IC (individual counseling)? My second therapist was a betrayal trauma specialist and she was very helpful. I worked through The Grief Recovery Handbook and another on mindfulness. I started meditation, which helped me get my thought process under control.
Sorry that you're hurting so bad. Infidelity sucks.
BW M 34years, Dday 1: March 2018, Dday 2: August 2019, D final 2/25/21
The1stWife ( Guide #58832) posted at 7:52 PM on Thursday, September 19th, 2024
Please please please seek professional help. Suicide is not the answer - I hope you can see that.
Reach out to a friend or family member and maybe try to get away from your residence for a few days.
Mental health takes a huge hit when infidelity and trauma are part of your life. But you can get past this. It just takes time. Your situation is not hopeless b/c you have your own bedroom to escape to. That’s a blessing in some small way.
Please keep posting here so we can help you.
Very concerned
Survived two affairs and brink of Divorce. Happily reconciled. 10 years out from Dday. Reconciliation takes two committed people to be successful.
