Cookies are required for login or registration. Please read and agree to our cookie policy to continue.

Newest Member: IamaDinorawr

General :
Book Recommendations?

default

 user4578 (original poster member #84572) posted at 12:29 PM on Tuesday, October 15th, 2024

So I’ve had a bad couple of days. No reason in particular, everything is still going fine, I guess the bad days are just part of it. Lots of mind movies and comparisons between myself and the AP. Can’t seem to stay away from her Instagram!

IC was going well and we had just changed the focus from my relationship to myself which I was really excited about, but my therapist has stopped replying to messages and during our last session couldn’t really offer much help even though I felt the problems I was bringing would be basic for a therapist? I don’t know.

I was wondering if anyone had book recommendations that are maybe not specifically focused on recovering from infidelity but more on issues like self esteem and having more confidence in social situations.

I’m a huge introvert, very closed off. The word ‘reserved’ has been politely used by employers in the past.

I find the biggest comparison I make between myself and AP is that she seems very outgoing, very social, and very confident. Not that I’m trying to be like her but those are qualities that I would like to have. I struggle with small talk and social boundaries in that I don’t know what’s okay to ask and what’s not if that makes sense. I’m trying really hard at work but find I usually wait for people to come to talk to me and ask me questions, and then I get embarrassed because I feel like I’m just talking about myself. I really struggle with getting caught up in what people might think of me, to the point that I not only hide when I’m annoyed/upset about something, but also when I’m happy or excited too.

I’m going to a gig with my partner soon and a group of his friends, some I’ve met and some I haven’t. I’m so nervous about it. I always get like that if we’re going somewhere in a music setting. I feel like my partner is like AP, very loud and outgoing and has an air of confidence (which I know isn’t real but that’s how it comes across) and I always think I seem boring in comparison and people are thinking ‘why is he with her? She’s so boring’.

I don’t do a lot. I parent, I work, I read a lot and I like creative writing. That’s about it. Don’t watch a lot of movies or TV, have a kind of cliche music taste that I think music fans would roll their eyes at.

I just want to get some tips on feeling confident and comfortable in social situations. I’m always so on edge and then spend days thinking about stuff I said that seemed like the wrong thing to say.

I guess it’s my emotional writer side. Small talk seems boring, I want to know people properly and I guess tend to skip the basics laugh

I would also love to not actually care that much if people don’t take a liking to me.

I realise this may be off topic but thought it might be okay as it’s all a part of the healing process right? Trying to fix myself and all that.

posts: 173   ·   registered: Mar. 7th, 2024   ·   location: UK
id 8851153
default

sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 3:07 PM on Tuesday, October 15th, 2024

Born to Win by Muriel James and Dorothy Jongeward.

fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex ap
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
You don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.

posts: 30400   ·   registered: Feb. 18th, 2011   ·   location: Illinois
id 8851162
default

This0is0Fine ( member #72277) posted at 6:32 PM on Tuesday, October 15th, 2024

"How to Win Friends and Influence People"

Things have changed very little from 1936...

Love is not a measure of capacity for pain you are willing to endure for your partner.

posts: 2795   ·   registered: Dec. 11th, 2019
id 8851178
default

 user4578 (original poster member #84572) posted at 8:34 PM on Tuesday, October 15th, 2024

sisoon - I looked that up and it sounds really interesting, reviews are really good too. Thank you!

This0is0Fine - I’ve thought about reading that so many times but never got around to it! Will add it to my list, thank you.

posts: 173   ·   registered: Mar. 7th, 2024   ·   location: UK
id 8851191
Cookies on SurvivingInfidelity.com®

SurvivingInfidelity.com® uses cookies to enhance your visit to our website. This is a requirement for participants to login, post and use other features. Visitors may opt out, but the website will be less functional for you.

v.1.001.20241101b 2002-2024 SurvivingInfidelity.com® All Rights Reserved. • Privacy Policy