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I've been dating a woman for 5 years and something has come up that I'm not sure about. Would like feedback.

My GF and I only get to see each other every other week due to kids custody schedules.

My GF goes line dancing every Wednesday night when she doesn't have her kids. I have my kids on Wednesday and my daughter has practice for her sport that I need to get her to, so I can't come along. Due to our schedule she often goes out on her own and it hasn't been a problem. She has in the past gone to a bar that she termed a "meat market" and told me guys were hitting on her and she put a ring on her left ring finger to ward them off. Incidents like this have not been a problem in the past.

Fast forward to a week or so ago and she went dancing on Wednesday night. We met on Friday night for dinner.

When I went home and check facebook, I notice a post of the guy that runs line dancing with my girl dancing with another man. Having gone through what I did with my EX, this made my heart sink. She was smiling, holding hands, guy with an arm around her, etc. (I know this is not like bumping and grinding, but it never occurred to me that she would be dancing with guys based on our previous conversations.)

Now I don't want to be the jealous boyfriend type, so I don't say anything. I'm thinking this is all due to my history and I'm being too touchy.

Fast forward to a couple of days ago and I'm working on my daughters car in crazy heat with my pal. We have to run to the parts store and somehow I butt dial my GF. I'm venting to him about her dancing with another guy, some miscommunications that we've been having and I say I don't think I can do this again.

My GF doesn't even call me back, I call her at the end of the night and she tells me that she heard. We go over some other arguments that we've had and admits that she would not have been happy to see me dancing with another woman and having fun. She admits that she saw the post and asks if she should have told me. I don't even recall my answer, but now I'm thinking OF COURSE. If she had said, "Babe, I still got it. Some guy asked me to dance and we did" or even hey did you see the line dancing post? I'm fb famous with a guy that asked me to dance. Then she even said like "Damn Steve and his videos"... like it's Steve's fault...

I have two issues right now.

1.) Before she shot men down. Now she is making a connection with a man. I expect some verbal slapping saying it is no big deal, but to me it opens the door for more attention from men. (Trust me, I am one.. :-) )
2.) While it may not be a very big deal, I feel like she tried to hide it. It was a secret and she was hoping I didn't see the post.

Any input from someone who has been cheated on would be greatly appreciated.

Sorry, there isn't enough information here for me to make a decision.

It sounds like they were doing the Cowboy Cha Cha, El Paso or similar country dance move. It is also part of country line dancing, so it's difficult to know without any additional context.

Welcome to SI and feel free to check out some of the different areas. The Healing Library is at the top of the site and includes a lot of great information, including the list of acronyms we use.

Hopefully others will come along and give you an answer.

I don't know the dance that they were doing, but you are on the right path.

First off continue putting your daughter’s events first!!!!!! I recently lost my Dad, and just today I was thinking how I always felt safe with him, and he could fix/do anything for me. My xh stopped doing things for our sons bc of the ow and that damaged them the most, I think.

To your question:

I’ll start by saying I love to Line Dance and c/w dance, and at lessons they teach couples dances, too. I dance with guys-but I do not like any of them as a boyfriend. I compare it to when I was a bank teller. I had TONS of money in my cash drawer, but it wasn’t mine. I never thought of spending it, taking it, anything. So, with her dancing with this and other guys-if she loves dancing-a lot of women do-then when a song comes on, she’s looking for the guy that does that particular dance best: Polka, waltz, double 2 step, schottische, etc. And it’s so fun to dance with someone good-I smile and laugh the whole time. But I don’t like the guy I’m dancing with, unless it’s my boyfriend.

I’d also say pull up one of the dances on you tube and learn it and surprise her.

[This message edited by homewrecked2011 at 5:15 AM, Thursday, June 26th]