heartbroken12345 ( new member #86523) posted at 1:08 AM on Saturday, February 14th, 2026
Ladybugmaam, I am not an OW but I recently rewatched Sex and the City and season 3 might be informational to you in this instance.
The main character, Carrie, has an A with her married ex. After they get caught by his wife and end the A, she tries desperately to "apologize" to the wife (in my opinion, this was a very selfish apology and was solely to appease her guilt and not to make amends. I don’t see any remorse in her actions).
I want to warn you, watching this could be triggering. The show portrays the entire affair and the fallout. It is brutal and Carrie and the WH are non-remorseful and selfish. But if you’re curious about her mindset, it could provide an insight into the mind of someone who doesn’t see things very clearly and someone who lacks integrity.
Best wishes on your healing
Me - WW/BW 31yo, EA/PA Oct 2012-May 2013, and Sep 2014
Him - WH/BH 30yo ST infidelities throughout relationship and marriage
Been together 15 years (hs sweethearts)
DDay (mine) 6/24/25, (his) 6/27/25
BraveSirRobin ( member #69242) posted at 1:52 AM on Saturday, February 14th, 2026
As another fWW, I think Pippin is spot on.
LadyMacbeth ( member #51843) posted at 10:37 AM on Monday, February 23rd, 2026
I am a former OW, and I must say I have no idea of why anyone who was an OW would want to try to be close to their former AP or indeed the wife of the former AP. My situation was different than what is described here. I wasn't friends with my AP and his wife. We worked together and the affair started there and lasted 4 years. After I disclosed the affair to his wife 10 years ago, I haven't had the slightest wish to see him again. I don't wish him ill at all - he is just a non entity to me today. But all affairs are different and all OWs are different. SO I might not be the right person to answer.
