the best way to end an affair is to expose it.
Find the wife. Do not tell your wife. Inform his wife of the affair gently with some specifics.
The husband of my husband's affair partner found about about the affair, didn't tell me, confronted both of them, they said the affair would end, blah, blah, blah, the affair continued. Had he told me everything would have stopped immediately, less heartache and destruction.
Twenty years later, I still resent him for trying to protect ME. 
Just to add, my husband cheated with his co-worker when he traveled to her site.
Another thought: I insisted my husband leave that job. He did.
[This message edited by annb at 8:12 PM, Monday, August 24th]
