OhItsYou ( member #84125) posted at 6:08 PM on Friday, September 25th, 2026
You’ve probably received around 657 years worth of wisdom in the last week. Consider it all.
The only thing I can add at this time is, see things for what they are, not what you wish them to be. It’s a Real easy trap to fall into and delude yourself with this much emotional turmoil involved.
beetrain6 (original poster new member #87705) posted at 7:46 PM on Saturday, October 3rd, 2026
There is no measuring stick or gauge that determines how badly or compares how an affair hurts someone vs another. For each and every one of us it's the worst experience of our lives.
My heart breaks reading your posts because I know exactly how the fuck you feel. I really do. I wish there was a magic phrase or strategy we could offer that could help, but unfortunately there just isn't. Only time.
What you don't want to do is nothing. From everything we can see she's giving you fewer and fewer options. Based on her behavior and actions there's an ever so slight, but unlikely chance that she might turn this around once divorce is officially on the table, but I wouldn't bet on it. From what I can tell, it's the only card you have left unless you're prepared to continue living in this limbo while your wife continues working and maintaining some sort of relationship with this guy and continuing to stomp on your very real, very justified, and very raw feelings.
You will eventually start feeling better. It just takes longer than anyone wants it to. I'm sorry brother. I'm sorry you're being put through this.
Thank you
