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The Book Club :
Why Won't You Apologize: Healing Big Betrayals & Everyday Hurts

Topic is Sleeping.
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 onlytime (original poster member #45817) posted at 5:33 PM on Saturday, April 8th, 2017

I really love the work of Brene Brown and follow her on social media. Not too long ago I saw a video she posted in which she was having a conversation with Harriet Lerner about Harriet's new book "Why Won't You Apologize: Healing Big Betrayals and Everyday Hurts". It sounded interesting so I got it for my Kindle app.

It has been worth every penny and I highly recommend it.

To those who have read it since it's release earlier this year, what were your thoughts? Did you find it helpful as well?

R'd w/ BetterFuture13
T 20+ yrs w/ adult kids 😇 + grands
"The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall" ~Nelson Mandela

posts: 6298   ·   registered: Dec. 3rd, 2014   ·   location: 🇨🇦
id 7831555
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Emotionalhell ( member #39902) posted at 10:38 PM on Sunday, April 9th, 2017

Thank you for your post. I haven't heard of this book. I have looked it up and searched for podcast by Harriet Lerner. This is on my reading list.

Me BS x2. 50ish Divorced WH #1. IHS with wayward #2 Dday #1 Oct. 2014Dday # 2 August 2018. Dday #3 December 17th.

posts: 1779   ·   registered: Jul. 22nd, 2013
id 7832289
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sewardak ( member #50617) posted at 2:05 PM on Tuesday, April 11th, 2017

i love this!! she said you don't have to forgive - you just need to live so that the pain isn't as influential in your life.

posts: 4125   ·   registered: Dec. 1st, 2015   ·   location: it's cold here
id 7833560
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Time2StartLiving ( member #57864) posted at 4:32 PM on Tuesday, April 18th, 2017

Thanks for the recommendation! I just put in a request for it at the library. Not sure if I can wait though, I might give up and order it. I also love Brene's work - she's amazing! I'll look for that video, too.

Both late 40s
Together 20+ years
One child, 11 (The Boy)

posts: 60   ·   registered: Mar. 16th, 2017
id 7839506
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bw900 ( member #47732) posted at 6:41 AM on Sunday, July 16th, 2017

Haven't posted in a long time:

I am listening to this book right now. I highly recommend it, as well!

WH is one who has a very hard time apologizing. Since the A he has probably apologized more than he ever has in his life, but also tends to negate the apologies with self-protection, blame-shifting and shame. Probably why I just don't feel like I can put the f before WH yet.

I am a BS at 2.5 years out, so I don't know how it would have come across at JFO, but I think it may have been helpful then, too.

Me: BW 68 (59 at dday) WH: 69 (60 at dday)D-day 1/2015 EA/PA 1.25 year w/COW M 31 yrs, 4 grown kids Reconciling, which is not easy! Still Grieving what I thought our M was and who I thought he was

posts: 265   ·   registered: May. 1st, 2015   ·   location: USA
id 7920059
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unbelievable24 ( member #59102) posted at 4:10 PM on Tuesday, August 8th, 2017

Thanks for the recommendation. I just put this on hold to download from my library.

Together 18 years, married 16
DDay #1 May 18, 2017 (MightyText - Ho Bag #1)
DDay #2 June 20, 2017 (Printed 6 mo phone records - Ho Bag #2
2 (Admitted) EAs
0 (Admitted) PAs
Me: BW 49
Him: WH 49

posts: 231   ·   registered: Jun. 7th, 2017
id 7940592
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HelenKeller ( member #59763) posted at 3:45 AM on Thursday, August 24th, 2017

Thanks for this recommendation. It will be my first book to help this process along. Would you recommend it for my WH as well?

"It's not having what you want, it's wanting what you've got"

Me - The faithful spouse (41)
Him - The infidel (42)
4 kids, ages 6-14
Dday 1 "the love affair" - 7/17
Dday 2 "depraved sex maniac" - a week late

posts: 72   ·   registered: Jul. 21st, 2017   ·   location: New Jersey
id 7955002
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Emotionalhell ( member #39902) posted at 2:56 PM on Friday, October 20th, 2017

For those of you that have read this which do you recommend the book over the audio?

Me BS x2. 50ish Divorced WH #1. IHS with wayward #2 Dday #1 Oct. 2014Dday # 2 August 2018. Dday #3 December 17th.

posts: 1779   ·   registered: Jul. 22nd, 2013
id 8003885
Topic is Sleeping.
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