After having been on here, I've found that the revisionist history tends to be much more prevalent with WWs, rather than WH. With WHs, its more about the sex (lack thereof), or lack of attention, but mostly sex. With the WWs you often hear rewriting and lying, and why we always advise for a VAR with WW b/c they will go ape shit to protect their false narrative and self, even to the detriment of their children by claiming false DV on their husbands. You almost never hear of a husband doing that in reverse to his wife.
My WW told people she was scared of me, when in fact, I've never laid a hand on her, but hey, she's a women and it sounds believable. In contrast, she was the one who had laid hands on me once while we were dating in college and I let her know to never touch me again. The truth is not whats important to these people, its what they can convince people of why they made and are continuing to make poor decisions. I mean, they lied to you their supposed spouse and children, their parents, why would they do otherwise with friends.
There is a discussion going on now in the General forum where a wife wrote an article about why she chose to divorce her husband (no cheating involved based on her article), but no major marital issues of note, had a maid, nice lifestyle, 3 young kids and supportive husband. Yet, her reasoning is superficial at best for blowing up her family, but its interesting to see the lines being drawn over there with mostly women advocating for her choice and the men adversely appalled at her decision to break up a family over who truly knows what....There was no mention of infidelity, no marital struggles b/c otherwise they would have tried MC at the very least. I think that's why most BS feel this sting, not only was our marital history being rewritten, but the source of the problem and discontent was not even verbalized so that we were given a chance to fix the issues, whatever they may be before your spouse goes and cheats on you. I guarantee her husbands side was a lot different than what the wife wrote about.
I just got an email from my ex, it went straight into the trash as I didnt read it, but I bet its a bit more of revisionist history and her faulty reasons of why she did what she did, but it was not for me, it was for her. You can tell me now, but you couldn't during our marriage? Nearly 5 yrs out!!! No thanks, I don't give a shit about your reasoning and justification b/c during the A, and during our D, it was just a bunch of made up lies anyway, and now that we're divorce, I don't give a shit even if it is the truth. YOU can lie to others, but you cannot lie to yourself. For those that have personality disorders, that may not matter, but to the rest of the 90% of the population, lying for that long and to that extent cannot be healthy for ones mental health.