SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I stated all this out loud in our MC session last week, and made it clear I was at a divorce stage in my thought process. I also stated that it was my last MC

What has been your wife’s reaction to you saying this?

I understand if this is not allowed, but is anyone available to talk?

Unthoughtknown75

If you think something is breaking a guideline or against site policy, then ASK THE STAFF rather than hide behind some lame "I understand this might not be allowed". You risk your access here by doing that sort of thing...

We warn ALL posters that there is no way SI can protect your anonymity if you give or share any form of personal information, nor can we do anything to protect your anonymity if you use other venues or programs to communicate.

Unknown,

I don't know if the parameters have changed, but once you reach 50 posts, your private message function should allow you to communicate back and forth with other members. Maybe that will provide what you are seeking.

ASK THE STAFF rather than hide behind some lame "I understand this might not be allowed". You risk your access here by doing that sort of thing..

@SI STAFF- really? That’s your response when someone has a moment of severe depression and asks a question? Get bent. If you need to kick me off because of that than I am better off not being here.

I've reached out on reddit if you need someone to talk to.

What a ridiculously pompous and inappropriate response to someone clearly in distress

No surprise traffic is declining on this site if the moderators are so out of touch

As a member of staff I strongly encourage posters to read and follow the guidelines.

Guideline 10:
STAFF ACTIONS: If you have a question regarding a staff action bring it to our attention by using the Private Message feature. Do not question staff actions on the public forums.

People are totally free to be here or chose not to, but please adhere to the relatively few and simple guidelines.

I will raise my hand and acknowledge that the "lame" comment was unwarranted, and I apologize for that. However – if someone wants to do something they think might violate site guidelines and rules then ask the admins rather than post and hope for the best.
As always when someone asks for more contact than this site offers, we heavily warn against it in the interest of anonymity.

when staff responds to someone in need in such cold and callous manner, on the public forum, there will be strong reactions from members. If Unthoughtknown75 broke the rules, it could've been brought to his attention, with kindness and respect, privately. The response to his question was unnecessarily harsh, lacked empathy and understanding.

OP, you can DM me on a certain platform where there are upvotes and downvotes, username shorecoder

I have lurked on this site nearly daily for the past 6-7 years, though I have never posted. I just read for comfort and support. Today, I feel that need to post something.

Unless that mod was practicing radical honesty, their response was extremely tone deaf. For most people, especially in the JFO section, their self-esteem is lower than they ever thought it would go. To call out someone who's drowning in those feelings (possibly feeling like they're not "manly" enough!) in a moment of weakness and despair in an insulting and demeaning manor is just not acceptable. Plain and simple.

I used to think the mods on reddit infidelity forums were pretty bad, but I've never seen anything like this over there...

Imagine calling a suicide hotline but you used a payphone, which isn't allowable. So they laugh in your face and hang up.

@unthoughtknown75 I hope you were able to get some support. Please don't let this insensitive act against you refrain you from opening up and seeking support in the future. You are deserving of it, no matter how some dickhead behind the keyboard makes you feel. I wish you the best.

[This message edited by cj1287 at 5:39 PM, Tuesday, December 24th]

Unthoughtknown75

I hope you have found some support.

You can get through this.

Saying a prayer for your comfort this Christmas Eve, OP.

UnThoughtKnown75....persevere ...there will be times of severe testing. I hope you have reached out to some trusted family for immediate support. Also, call to the Lord. ..He will hear you.

You are loved....don't doubt that.

[This message edited by SI Staff at 9:26 PM, Tuesday, December 24th]

I've been on this site for 11 years. I visit almost daily but rarely post anymore. Honestly, when I first arrived, I received virtually no response to my initial post (maybe none - I can't remember and I can't find it). Maybe my situation just wasn't juicy enough in details for people to get engaged in (EA by WS that I caught before it progressed further). I don't know and I didn't care. I came here because I needed to be surrounded by others who had been in my situation and I needed help in navigating what was a terribly difficult time for me.

Never in those 11 years have I seen such callous and irresponsible response to a person clearly in pain. Not everyone understands how these types of forums work and most certainly a member that is relatively new, who is working through the trauma of infidelity won't even have the wherewithal and/or ability to comprehend what the "rules" are. They don't GAF what the rules are. They're drowning and they need someone to throw them a lifeline. FFS can we just give them a little grace? A PM explaining the rules? Something other than what was handed out here.

Unknownthought75, I don't know if you've bailed out from this forum. I hope not. There is a lot of help here and it can get you through. There's a lot of knowledge from people who've walked a path that none of them ever want to walk. Toss out the rest of the crap and there can be plenty of that here, too.