SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Thank you for sharing your life with us. Congratulations on your new life and beautiful new home!

You are an absolute inspiration!

Bump.

Well, I thought I would post an update. I remember when I was a newly minted BS years ago. I would scour the JFO forum looking for hope, anything that could indicate that I could get through this mess and fix the M. As I processed my trauma, I moved onto General and S/D and finally NB. Funny how that works... like the stages of grief.

I'm posting these updates in the hopes that they might give a new BS a glimpse of what might be a little further down the road if they choose to leave, at keast one possible timeline in the multiverse.

I've been out of a relationship for almost two years now and I can honestly say that I feel good about it. My picker is broken and i seem to be a magnet for hot messes. I like being with me and there is no void I'm trying to fill. I can't say the same for my exww. Not sure if I mentioned it before, but she has a new guy and I think they are living together. I also suspect that there was relationship overlap between the old and new versions. Can't say I'm surprised as she has pretty porous boundaries. I'm sure she's looking for financial stability as she's 8 years from retirement and without a plan.

I'm getting closer to retirement and starting to worry about finances. I've had multiple spreadsheets going, each for it's own scenario. That's the mission planning/risk assessment in me. Since I was older when I D, time is against me in the rebuilding process and I want to leave my kids with at least some equity. I know their mother will blow everything.

So far, I've been just playing with numbers, but a few days ago, I plugged the numbers into AI and told it about my situation and my goals. Well, it came up with options for me that I had beiefly considered, but not realized how advantageous they would be. If I make a manageable extra payment each month and work until I am 67, then refinance my place, I can keep my car and afford some travel. Very exciting to know I won't be eating cat food in my golden years...

Yeah, life would be financially better for me with a partner, but i just can't see myself with anyone. Plus, I sure ain't getting better looking as I age, so there's that too.

So that's it. This week I'm getting the townhouse ready for 🎄 Christmas and just enjoying my alone time. All in all, I am content.

All the best to anyone that still checks in.

Well, the holidays are over and I'm back to my routine. The days are getting longer and that helps, though I would be happy to have some more cold nights to enjoy my fireplace.

The big news is that my EXWW has gotten engaged. I got the news through a social media post. He seems like a nice guy (they are her primary food source) and is retired. From what I gather, they have dated for 7 months, but I suspect that there was considerable overlap between this relationship and her last one. I haven't asked my kids any questions as I'm pretty indifferent to the whole thing. It's like the Olympics. I don't watch them but if something interesting happens, I'll watch the highlights. The only thing I am hoping for is that she takes his last name, as she has kept mine, and mine is unique. I am a well-known person in town and my kids are constantly being asked if they know me. I hate having my EXWW associated with me,even in passing.

Life is still pretty good and I am content. I've been following some threads in the S/D forum and watching people at where I was early on. It's weird and comforting to look back and see what healing looks like from where I'm standing. I was terrified at the beginning. I remember asking my buddy (divorced) what advice he would give? He said, be less worried about money. Things work out... he was right. Things just work out.

Im coming up to the two year mark of being single again, and I'm really content with the peace I have. There is something to be said for a quiet life. I can't imagine risking that again, but never say die, I guess.

So that's it. Cheers everyone.