ChamomileTea ( Moderator #53574) posted at 8:46 PM on Monday, May 9th, 2022
This is painful...and the first year with seeing her new patterns can feel like the unending fuckening. Remember that this is ornamental and not functional...kinda like a Kentucky Derby hat.
A gem from Funnelcakes, mined in the Divorce/Separation forum.
{edited to BOLD the author}
[This message edited by SI Staff at 8:49 PM, Monday, May 9th]
BW: 2004(online EAs), 2014 (multiple PAs); Married 40 years; in R with fWH for 10
Want2BHappyAgain ( member #45088) posted at 4:24 PM on Saturday, June 18th, 2022
I was able to drive home ok, I’m so sore, and swollen in the face, but my junk has recovered 😀 Told my W, heart and lungs, meh. But when the junk isn’t right "Call 911!!!’"🤣
From Tanner in the Off Topic Forum...talking about an allergic reaction to a bee sting in his thread titled I Had a Health Scare today.
A "perfect marriage" is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other.
With God ALL things are possible (Matthew 19:26)
I AM happy again...It CAN happen!!!
From respect comes great love...sassylee
MIgander ( member #71285) posted at 2:00 PM on Tuesday, June 21st, 2022
Dr. Phil said he tried to work with NPD patients, but it was above his pay grade. laugh
From the D forum- once a narc, always a narc.
Thanks leafields!
[This message edited by MIgander at 2:00 PM, Tuesday, June 21st]
WW/BW Dday July 2019. BH/WH- multiple EA's. Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.
MIgander ( member #71285) posted at 8:27 PM on Tuesday, June 21st, 2022
I... politely tell them that I don't need their diagnosis, I just need them to tell me the behavior and the events.
... I tell them that some people are, in fact, merely married to common assholes.
Thanks Wiseoldfool! In General about narcs.
WW/BW Dday July 2019. BH/WH- multiple EA's. Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.
MIgander ( member #71285) posted at 3:01 PM on Thursday, September 8th, 2022
If he wants to hoard his secret life like it's a box of treasure instead of a shit filled cesspool, I can't change that, but I can change what I do while he continues to lie.
From Sigyn in JFO.
WW/BW Dday July 2019. BH/WH- multiple EA's. Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.
sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 5:01 PM on Thursday, October 6th, 2022
I've been married for nearly forty and I can tell you that adultery is not a good starting point.
ChamomileTea in LostandStuck's WH says he still has feelings for AP thread
fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex ap
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
You don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.
sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 11:45 PM on Wednesday, October 19th, 2022
Innocent notions like "100% trust" and "true love" are replaced by the fact that you can never really know anyone's heart but your own - and even that's not assured.
So very true, IMO.
Seeking2Forgivr in https://survivinginfidelity.com/topics/658475/not-feeling-it-after-wh-now-wants-to-reconcile/
[This message edited by SI Staff at 11:53 PM, Wednesday, October 19th]
fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex ap
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
You don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.
Want2BHappyAgain ( member #45088) posted at 4:53 PM on Tuesday, November 22nd, 2022
I too am totally fucking aware that life is short and death awaits us all, and yet somehow I’ve managed not to carpet bomb the most meaningful relationship in my life by sucking my colleague’s dick.
A very apt quote from Grieving in the General Forum !!
A "perfect marriage" is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other.
With God ALL things are possible (Matthew 19:26)
I AM happy again...It CAN happen!!!
From respect comes great love...sassylee
Want2BHappyAgain ( member #45088) posted at 6:37 PM on Friday, December 2nd, 2022
Infidelity is a want, never a NEED.
From Oldwounds in the General Forum.
A "perfect marriage" is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other.
With God ALL things are possible (Matthew 19:26)
I AM happy again...It CAN happen!!!
From respect comes great love...sassylee
MIgander ( member #71285) posted at 4:49 AM on Saturday, December 17th, 2022
From Catwoman in OT:
Happiness is indeed what you make it. When life gives you lemons, make lemonade and don't forget to throw a little vodka in it.
I'm going to remember this every time I find myself drinking margaritas with my girlfriends.
My bday is coming up and Mexican food, margaritas and chocolate cake are a thing.
Aren't margaritas just limeade with tequila?
WW/BW Dday July 2019. BH/WH- multiple EA's. Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.
emergent8 ( Guide #58189) posted at 5:49 PM on Wednesday, January 18th, 2023
Point being - WORDS are CHEAP. Anyone can say words. A PARROT can say words. ACTIONS are where it's at.
From EllieKMAS in general, proving yet again why she's one of my favourite posters.
Me: BS. Him: WS.
D-Day: Feb 2017 (8 m PA with married COW).
Happily reconciled.
leafields ( Guide #63517) posted at 7:42 PM on Wednesday, January 25th, 2023
From emergent8 in General under What made you the villain?
Ah yes, blowjobs in the bushes, the lesser known SIXTH love language.
[This message edited by leafields at 7:42 PM, Wednesday, January 25th]
BW M 34years, Dday 1: March 2018, Dday 2: August 2019, D final 2/25/21
sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 5:03 PM on Friday, January 27th, 2023
"You can't help who you fall in love with" ... - you sure as Hell can help what you do about it.
Pithy words of wisdom from Chaos.
fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex ap
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
You don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.
BraveSirRobin ( member #69242) posted at 5:00 PM on Saturday, January 28th, 2023
I cannot imagine having healed without the sense of righteousness. Righteousness powered me through a lot of difficult times.
emergent8, on why she rejected the idea of a revenge affair
emergent8 ( Guide #58189) posted at 7:01 PM on Friday, March 10th, 2023
Part of recovery, if not MOST of recovery, is about rebuilding our own self-reliance. It's not enough that the WS learns to self-validate. We have to learn it too. The goal has to be two healthy people choosing to be together, rather than two needy people choosing not to be apart, right?
ChamomileTea, on the BS's need for emotional self-reliance.
Me: BS. Him: WS.
D-Day: Feb 2017 (8 m PA with married COW).
Happily reconciled.
BraveSirRobin ( member #69242) posted at 2:11 PM on Tuesday, April 25th, 2023
It's kind of like a roller coaster ride. It is designed to look dangerous and give you lots of thrills, but you're really not going to get hurt.
Beachwalker's excellent summary of the deluded mindset of an affair.
emergent8 ( Guide #58189) posted at 8:47 PM on Wednesday, May 3rd, 2023
It took a while to see that my lies were cruelty disguised as kindness, while honesty was kindness that felt like cruelty.
BraveSirRobin describing the struggle of the WS to understand the need for complete honesty post-A. (From BS questions for WS)
Me: BS. Him: WS.
D-Day: Feb 2017 (8 m PA with married COW).
Happily reconciled.
leafields ( Guide #63517) posted at 5:33 AM on Saturday, May 13th, 2023
Children have impulse control issues. Grown moral people honor their agreements.
Shehawk in the Blame Game/Unmet needs/Always Capable thread in JFO.
BW M 34years, Dday 1: March 2018, Dday 2: August 2019, D final 2/25/21
WhatsRight ( member #35417) posted at 2:44 PM on Saturday, May 27th, 2023
Lastly, to be perfectly blunt, your WW saying the electronic transparency was reminding her of being raped as a teen is in the top 10 biggest crocks of horseshit I’ve read on this site… and competition is tight.
BluerThanBlue in response to what she refers to in the quote.
Sorry for the situation, but I shot milk through my nose when I read this!
[This message edited by WhatsRight at 2:45 PM, Saturday, May 27th]
"Noone can make you feel inferior without your concent." Eleanor Roosevelt
I will not be vanquished. Rose Kennedy
leafields ( Guide #63517) posted at 2:50 PM on Monday, July 10th, 2023
Healthy relationships DO involve the word No. They do not involve the word "nurture" unless you are talking about raising a child.
Very apt quote by OwningItNow in the Made a deal...sort of thread in Reconciliation.
BW M 34years, Dday 1: March 2018, Dday 2: August 2019, D final 2/25/21