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I would walk in and give her two options. 1. Go with you to the hotel and view the CCTV or 2. Divorce. As far as I can see the only legitimate reason she can have for not viewing the CCTV is she knows what's there will prove she is lying. You have VERY good reasons to be concerned. If she has been honest she will want to show you the evidence.

Not going to view the recording IS an admission of guilt and should lead directly to divorce.

First Post here.
Imagine you are watching the news: somebody has been murdered in an hotel room. The main suspect has been identified as being in the direct vicinity of the room, witnesses saw the suspect going in/out of the room and the suspect is lying about its alibi. Moreover the suspect refuses to provide its DNA, which could prove its innocence but at the same time proves its guilt.
The suspect would be charged guilty, don’t you agree?
Well, your wife killed your marriage that night.

Your wife seems like the type of person who enjoys proving she's right,and others are wrong.

She's very defiant. How DARE you ask her to look at the hotel's camera footage..such outrage.

If it wasn't her..if she wasn't in that room,with that man,all night, you better believe she would jump at the chance to prove she didn't do it,and feel superior, and rub your nose in it. And the hotel staff? Man,if I were in her position, and they told my husband what they told you,and I was innocent? Trust that I would be RUNNING down there, to watch the footage with all of them,and my husband, so I could prove them wrong. I would be LIVID that staff told my husband I spent the night with some man. I would demand an apology, and I'd want to speak to the general manager. If wrong, they falsely accused me of something that was hurting my husband, and could possibly cost me my marriage,and time with my kids.

If I was innocent, trust that I wouldn't be laying around,playing on my phone.

Her refusal to ease your pain, should be a deal breaker. It's cruel.

But..she's guilty. She knows it. You know it. We know it.

Stop begging for the truth. Her inaction is an admission.

MC, I realize that this all seems very harsh. No one is trying to be unkind to you, although we do have some harsh words for your wife's actions (and lack thereof.) We are angry on your behalf. Because you want so badly to believe her you are twisting yourself into shapes that are unrecognizable, trying to see things her way.

In the end, you will not be able to do so. I believe inside, you feel the truth when people tell it to you, and recognize your wife's blatant lies.

You may need time to sit with this knowledge before you can fully admit to it, and to see it for what it is. That's ok. We are here and will be here when you are ready to acknowledge what you already know. And when the anger that is sure to come with it hits.

Just remember that you are worthy of love, and of having someone in your life that you can trust fully and completely. It probably won't be your wife. She seems incapable of self-reflection and the growth that would be needed to repair this. And that's ok if that's how she chooses to live her life. But you do have a choice. I hope you choose you.

It seems to come down to saying something like this:

"I know you cheated on me but I don't know the details. If you came clean and we could establish an honest dialogue, plus do a lot of work to heal, then we have a chance at successfully reconciling.

Instead, you are not being honest, you are gaslighting me and treating me as if I am a fool. When I add that to the fact that you just cheated on me then I come to the inescapable conclusion that I need to divorce you. There is no way to reconcile without honesty and a lot of sincere work. I am going to file for divorce. It will take a while to process, if you have a change of heart about being truthful, you can let me know."

Shed the pain, ditch the wife. She has no respect for you and as a classic cheater she is an adapt liar and is gaslighting you. FHO (Fu-- her off)

For context, mine was fu--ing my best mate and denied saying our 5 year old son was lying about her and Uncle John kissing and locking him and his brother in their bedroom. She lied when I kissed her goodbye as she went on a holiday to help her sister heal, blowing all our savings, then fcked her way across Fiji, denied it came back horny as hell as she had missed me soooo much. Then her sister fronts up with her "new" man who she met in Fiji and pics from the holidays. She either did it on purpose, or failed to realise that one pics was my Wh-re wife in bed with some stranger, then my mate tells me when the Girlgang had gone oput for drinks the Who-e wife bragged about how many she did and sometimes more than 1 a day for their 10 days. Am I bitter and twisted, you bet.

[This message edited by Theburna1957 at 9:38 AM, Monday, May 13th]