SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I'm freaking out inside, but I'm ready to tell him I want a D. I've written down my reasons that I intend to read to him.

I've finally really realized that I am truly not happy, I don't love him, I don't want to be around him as his wife. His A just pretty much killed me.

I'm so scared of what's to come. We've been together for 35 years! We started dating when we were 19. I look around my house and can't even imagine how to split this all up. Never mind selling the house and whatever else should be sold and split.

I plan on telling him next Tuesday or Wednesday. Stupid, but he has a procedure on Monday that I said I'd take the day off to take him to. I figured I'd be nice!

If anyone has any words of wisdom or D advice, I'm happy to hear it.

Our children are adults so I don't think there will be any fighting over them. And honestly, I don't think he'll argue about who gets what, nor will I. I posted this in the D/Sep forum also.

Thanks. Please wish me luck!

I’m wishing you the best of luck.

If I can add my two cents you really don’t need to give him a reason other than "the affair is just not something I can live with". It’s simple and to the point. It explains everything in one complete sentence

This is the part the cheaters never consider. Getting caught. Dday. Aftermath. I think so many believe they won’t get caught AND if they do, the betrayed will "get over it".

Please let us know how things went and feel free to vent to us if you need to. I’m sorry it had to come to this.

Best of luck!

Knowing what you want and need is a huge step, whatever path gets us to some peace!

SI has a really supportive batch of posters in the D section.

My mother is twice divorced, she found a decent guy on the third try and they had a great run — but I also have very happy single and divorced friends too. You’re on your way to better days.

For your possible use in moving ahead:

https://www.survivinginfidelity.com/topics/613476/spaceghost0007/?ap=21
SG moved on - perhaps all the contributors to his thread can provide you some useful guidance.

https://www.survivinginfidelity.com/topics/566988/i-dont-have-any-idea-what-to-do/?ap=1
Walloped stayed - also, his spouse posted a thread in Wayward - both may offer you some useful info

Wish you well -

I remember when I told my WW I was done. I won't get into the details, since you can look it up, but it was liberating. It was like cutting the cords that held me..7+ years later. No regrets..

The1stWife, thank you for your 2 cents, I do agree with you. I don’t plan on a super long explanation, just that I tried, and I just can’t. I’m pretty sure he won’t be expecting this!

Oldwounds, thank you for the support! I really like to here of happy people after D. NEVER thought I’d be here, EVER!!

Hippo16, thank you, I will check out the posts.

Justsomeguy, I will look it up, I’m curious. There is a part of me that is "excited" as I hope to feel very liberated as well! And then moving forward, to what my life could be and how I feel, or not feel! ha

Thanks everyone!

The1stWife, thank you for your 2 cents, I do agree with you. I don’t plan on a super long explanation, just that I tried, and I just can’t. I’m pretty sure he won’t be expecting this!

I find that somewhat interesting. In our R, I have promised my wife not that "I will be committed forever" but that "by the time we are divorcing, you won't be surprised". Or maybe he is just in continual denial. I don't know.

What I do know is that R takes consistent, open communication, and it doesn't seem to be something that's happened for you.

When D is the right decision, it's the right decision. I wish you the best of luck.