sassylee ( member #45766) posted at 3:54 AM on Wednesday, April 11th, 2018
My R(eformed)WH had a 5 month EA in 2012
In my 7th year of R
“LOVE is a commitment, not an emotion. It is a conscious act of a covenant of unconditional love. It is a mindset and a thought process.” - BigHeart2018’s Professor
sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 4:13 PM on Wednesday, April 18th, 2018
fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex apDDay - 12/22/2010Recover'd and R'edYou don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.
sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 4:24 PM on Wednesday, April 18th, 2018
fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex apDDay - 12/22/2010Recover'd and R'edYou don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.
minusone ( member #50175) posted at 5:58 PM on Tuesday, May 1st, 2018
"I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better". Maya Angelou
PurpleHaze ( member #63505) posted at 4:37 PM on Tuesday, May 8th, 2018
Try to stay out of the rabbit hole!
Tesoro321 ( member #63500) posted at 10:26 PM on Tuesday, May 8th, 2018
This thread is very helpful. Is there a way to bookmark it?
lordhasaplan? (original poster member #30079) posted at 10:57 PM on Tuesday, May 8th, 2018
Tesoro,
You can search for threads in your profile. But this one gets bumped into the thread often. It’s is also in the healing library in case you need to find it.
LHAP?
BS- Me (53)D-day: 5/18/10, lies and TT till (11/26/10). Currently in R. Don't carry others crap. It's your job to fix yourself, not your spouse.
sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 6:29 PM on Sunday, May 13th, 2018
fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex apDDay - 12/22/2010Recover'd and R'edYou don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.
Tesoro321 ( member #63500) posted at 1:53 PM on Monday, May 14th, 2018
What are some fair consequences for tt &/or minimizing of the truth & leaving out important info?
The only consequence I’ve been coming up with is speaking to an attorney (which is a last resort & not what I want to jump to right away). So what are some more immediate consequences that can be used in an effort to R?
lordhasaplan? (original poster member #30079) posted at 4:01 PM on Monday, May 14th, 2018
Tesoro,
They can be varied based upon the severity of the violations. No sleeping in marital bed, Not living in the home, certainly one could be a polygraph. if your getting Trickle tell that is another. I had my wife write all of it out, anything she could not verbally say. Then I held her to an agreement if there was more she was getting a polygraph. to this day, the hardest thing I had to read but I have not seen any incongruence since that day.
BS- Me (53)D-day: 5/18/10, lies and TT till (11/26/10). Currently in R. Don't carry others crap. It's your job to fix yourself, not your spouse.
sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 7:45 PM on Saturday, May 26th, 2018
fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex apDDay - 12/22/2010Recover'd and R'edYou don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.
heartbroken_kk ( member #22722) posted at 6:58 PM on Friday, June 15th, 2018
FBW then 46, XWHNPDPAFTG the destroyer of my entire life. D-Day 1 '99, D-Day 2,3,4,5,6... '09-'11, D '15. I fell apart. I put myself back together. Forgiveness isn't required. I'm happy and healthy now, and MY new life is good.
sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 11:42 PM on Thursday, June 28th, 2018
fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex apDDay - 12/22/2010Recover'd and R'edYou don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.
Skan ( member #35812) posted at 7:41 PM on Wednesday, July 4th, 2018
Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.
D-Day, June 10, 2012
Phoenix1 ( member #38928) posted at 5:39 PM on Saturday, July 14th, 2018
fBS - Me
Xhole - Multiple LTAs/2 OCs over 20+yrs
Adult Kids
Happily divorced!
You can't go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending. ~C.S. Lewis~
sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 6:50 PM on Tuesday, July 24th, 2018
fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex apDDay - 12/22/2010Recover'd and R'edYou don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.
sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 7:16 PM on Monday, August 6th, 2018
fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex apDDay - 12/22/2010Recover'd and R'edYou don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.
BearlyBreathing ( member #55075) posted at 5:02 PM on Thursday, August 23rd, 2018
Me: BS 57 (49 on d-day)Him: *who cares ;-) *. D-Day 8/15/2016 LTA. Kinda liking my new life :-)
**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **
heartbroken_kk ( member #22722) posted at 1:18 AM on Saturday, August 25th, 2018
FBW then 46, XWHNPDPAFTG the destroyer of my entire life. D-Day 1 '99, D-Day 2,3,4,5,6... '09-'11, D '15. I fell apart. I put myself back together. Forgiveness isn't required. I'm happy and healthy now, and MY new life is good.
heartbroken_kk ( member #22722) posted at 6:09 PM on Thursday, September 13th, 2018
bump 
FBW then 46, XWHNPDPAFTG the destroyer of my entire life. D-Day 1 '99, D-Day 2,3,4,5,6... '09-'11, D '15. I fell apart. I put myself back together. Forgiveness isn't required. I'm happy and healthy now, and MY new life is good.
