Cookies are required for login or registration. Please read and agree to our cookie policy to continue.

Newest Member: Comedyisnojoke

General :
Facebook messenger

default

 heartbrokeninaz (original poster member #40779) posted at 3:55 AM on Thursday, October 3rd, 2024

Just wondering if there is a secret way to message each other on Facebook? It seems my WH and this person are on Facebook at the same time a lot. They are not friends on Facebook but he knows her and they happen to work together. Her profile accepts messages from people who are not friends of hers. I have his password and check it once in awhile. Thats his preferred method for fishing. I havent seen anything but just wonder if there is a way they can message each other without me seeing it when I am on his profile? I just find it weird that they are on there at the same time or within minutes of each other. I can see when she is logged in when I am on my messenger.

BW 51(me)WH 51DDay 1 07/31/13 ONS with whorenado DDay 2 05/09/14 texts to another woman (not returned)Dday 3 06 15/18 texting to meetup with a mutual friend not reciprocated. I live a real life fairy tale.

posts: 376   ·   registered: Sep. 24th, 2013   ·   location: Phoenix
id 8850058
default

InkHulk ( member #80400) posted at 4:13 AM on Thursday, October 3rd, 2024

There are encryption options within FB Messenger. I don’t know what all that does and does not do when it comes to being logged into the same account from a second device. You might be able to grab your husband’s phone and turn off these options without him knowing, see if things start popping up on other devices.

People are more important than the relationships they are in.

posts: 2429   ·   registered: Jun. 28th, 2022
id 8850059
default

 heartbrokeninaz (original poster member #40779) posted at 4:19 AM on Thursday, October 3rd, 2024

Adding to this. Tonight I could see they were on at the same time. I started acting like I was messaging her but did not send anything. After awhile I messaged WH watcha doing. She got off Facebook. He called me within 3 minutes and said my messenger activity was strange. I asked him why is that? You messaged me earlier today and I saw you were online. He replied why didnt you just text me like usual? I sent you a meme. Am I off base wondering why he said my activity was weird? I usually do not message him. I just feel like she said something to him. Maybe I am paranoid, pstd.

[This message edited by heartbrokeninaz at 4:20 AM, Thursday, October 3rd]

BW 51(me)WH 51DDay 1 07/31/13 ONS with whorenado DDay 2 05/09/14 texts to another woman (not returned)Dday 3 06 15/18 texting to meetup with a mutual friend not reciprocated. I live a real life fairy tale.

posts: 376   ·   registered: Sep. 24th, 2013   ·   location: Phoenix
id 8850060
default

PinkBerry ( new member #85144) posted at 5:23 AM on Thursday, October 3rd, 2024

You can set messages to disappear. That's what my exWP did. The AP wondered why the messages kept disappearing, so she started to take screen shots of them before they disappeared. After she became suspicious of him and tracked me down, she sent me the screen shots.

Sly and calculated, ass-covering on his part. Another reason I don't want to deal with him any more.

Search "disappearing messages on messenger"

posts: 40   ·   registered: Aug. 29th, 2024
id 8850062
default

SadieMae ( member #42986) posted at 12:43 PM on Thursday, October 3rd, 2024

The setting for disappearing messages looks like it's within the individual conversation.

I had to click on the i inside the actual conversation to get its settings. scrolling down, I found that setting.

There are also secret conversations, but I think that is just encryption.

Me: BW D-day 3/9/2014
TT until 6/2016
TT again Fall 2020
Yay! A new D-Day on 11/8/2023 WTAF

posts: 1446   ·   registered: Apr. 3rd, 2014   ·   location: Sweet Tea in the Shade
id 8850068
default

deena04 ( member #41741) posted at 3:24 AM on Friday, October 4th, 2024

Yes! There is something called Facebook secret messaging. It keeps it kind of incognito. I think it disappears or just goes into a different area, I’m not quite sure. I’ve heard of it, I’ve seen it, but I have not played with it. I think I stumbled upon it accidentally by clicking buttons one day and that’s about as far as it went.

Me FBS 40s, Him XWS older than me (lovemywife4ever), D, He cheated before M, forgot to tell me. I’m free and loving life.

posts: 3339   ·   registered: Dec. 22nd, 2013   ·   location: Midwest
id 8850110
default

Abcd89 ( member #82960) posted at 1:47 PM on Friday, October 4th, 2024

I use disappearing messages on messenger.
You can also hide when you are online (your active status).
You can hide your story from a specific person or more than one person.
You can hide chats too and have multiple chats going with one person.

posts: 144   ·   registered: Feb. 27th, 2023
id 8850124
default

Abcd89 ( member #82960) posted at 1:48 PM on Friday, October 4th, 2024

And you can have more than one account and switch between them in settings.

Him saying you being unusual on messenger makes me think he’s up to something.

posts: 144   ·   registered: Feb. 27th, 2023
id 8850125
default

The1stWife ( Guide #58832) posted at 6:28 AM on Saturday, October 5th, 2024

Him saying you being unusual on messenger makes me think he’s up to something.

He’s shady.

Remember cheaters will use any means to attack you (the betrayed). It’s called DARVO - look it up. It stands for Deny Attack Reverse Victim and Offender.

Your H attacks YOU when you get too close to finding out HIS lies or shady behavior.

[This message edited by The1stWife at 6:31 AM, Saturday, October 5th]

Survived two affairs and brink of Divorce. Happily reconciled. 11 years out from Dday. Reconciliation takes two committed people to be successful.

posts: 14212   ·   registered: May. 19th, 2017
id 8850291
default

NorthernMSB ( member #69725) posted at 12:55 PM on Monday, October 7th, 2024

My husband used Messenger for most of his inappropriate contact and still is. There are many ways to cover tracks on that app. You literally have to catch them in real time. Plus there is encrypted messages etc.

Me: BW-54
Him-WH-58

Too many Ddays now to count, all with the same LTAP ex-girlfriend (or I guess current) except the brief fling November 2018-Christmas Eve 2018 with another ex-girlfriend

I'm tired

posts: 496   ·   registered: Feb. 10th, 2019
id 8850442
default

Fantastic ( member #84663) posted at 1:12 PM on Monday, October 7th, 2024

All these apps are a devil instrument that serve people who want to deceive others.

If you have your spouse’s password you can log in their account and see the settings but be careful because they get notified of a new log in. It is possible to create a list of people who can see and those who cannot see your posts and even create a single person posts. You may be surprised to be in the list of those who cannot see certain posts…
Messenger is another devil and you should check if it has a different password from Facebook.

My suggestion is to open Facebook directly on the device of the person you need to have i fo from (no new log in) maybe at night time when they are asleep and be ready with your phone to take photos of what you see, included the settings.

posts: 219   ·   registered: Mar. 28th, 2024
id 8850443
default

Chaos ( member #61031) posted at 9:53 PM on Monday, October 7th, 2024

Sadly FB has upped it game when it comes to secrecy.

They now do an End to End encryption so if you get/send a message on your phone and you then use your desktop to look at said message - it says something like "can't see due to end to end encryption"

I checked this on my personal account. So while I don't elect this option, it defaults to it anyway.

Also - it starts giving notifications if you log in from another device, I also checked this from my personal account. If I read/sent a message on my phone, and I log on to FB on my laptop, I get a message that just says "end to end encrypted".

Then my phone gets a notification that my account was logged on to from a device not my phone. Again - I never selected this - it is a FB default.

So now, while I have no real fear anymore, it makes Trust but Verify impossible unless you use the device usually used [usually phone].

Occasionally I have looked at WH phone but that is very few and far between times. And he's willingly given it.

So...Facebook - 1 and us infidelity survivors - 0

Then again - while FB makes it easy - it is the end user that is to blame for it uses.

Edited to provide more detail.

[This message edited by Chaos at 10:31 PM, Monday, October 7th]

BS-me/WH-4.5yrLTA Married 2+ decades-2 adult children. Multiple DDays w/same LAP until I told OBS 2018- Cease & Desist sent spring 2021 "Hello–My name is Chaos–You f***ed my husband-Prepare to Die!"

posts: 3907   ·   registered: Oct. 13th, 2017   ·   location: East coast
id 8850473
default

Fantastic ( member #84663) posted at 8:37 PM on Wednesday, October 9th, 2024

This is what I found about end-to-end end encrypted messaging " End-to-end encryption (E2EE) is a method of secure communication that prevents third parties from accessing data while it's transferred from one end system or device to another. In E2EE, the data is encrypted on the sender's system or device, and only the intended recipient can decrypt it."

So it is nothing special, it just makes it impossible for messages to be decrypted by people who are not the intended recipients. That applies also to Whatsapp, Telegram, Viber and a million other messaging apps.

It DOES NOT WORK FOR TEAMS MESSAGING where the employers can monitor messages exchanged in chats. So Teams does not guarantee privacy within the organisation but it does to people outside the organisation.

posts: 219   ·   registered: Mar. 28th, 2024
id 8850667
Cookies on SurvivingInfidelity.com®

SurvivingInfidelity.com® uses cookies to enhance your visit to our website. This is a requirement for participants to login, post and use other features. Visitors may opt out, but the website will be less functional for you.

v.1.001.20241101b 2002-2024 SurvivingInfidelity.com® All Rights Reserved. • Privacy Policy