SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Hoping these past few days have brought some peace into your life.

Even eliminating the back and forth with Mr Cheater hopefully brings a good deal of calmness in your day to day.

Big hugs, stay strong. This is the worst but you're doing great!

Still in the same position unfortunately. So he begged for forgiveness said all the right things etc… he has a new job lined up and has took a few weeks leave until the new one starts. BUT he will not block and delete her number and won’t allow me access to the phone.

So here is my new plan, I’m going to save as much money as I can to come out of the property and start a fresh. I’m focusing on the children and not falling into anything he says. Legal advice basically was I can apply to court to have the house just in my name but will take weeks maybe months because of backlogs and no immediate danger. I have started this process getting all the evidence entered but am yet to finish, I didn’t realise I had so much. I’m certain he’s having some kind of mid life crisis. I’m certain he will still end up back with the OW it’s just a matter of time.
But I’m riding it all out and feeling really positive, that’s both if I end up staying in the house or getting a new place. I know exactly where the path leads to just unsure which one it is yet and I’m happy either way that

I’m hopeful that you have a plan that will give you some financial stability for your future.

The only thing that is troublesome is that you have to live with him (because he’s so unpredictable) at this point.

Please read up on the 180. That is where you emotionally separate yourself from him so that if the OW is still in the picture you are not bothered or upset or crying on the floor. If you see he’s still texting her, it only has a small impact on you.

If he becomes abusive to you on a continued basis, how will you manage that? No one wants to see you being treated badly as that will make you feel worse about yourself. And you deserve better than that.

Do you have a time limit if he continues to lie and cheat as to how long you will remain in this situation?

Hoping for the best for you.

Just wanted to update so I’m hoping to get out by march the latest.

He has quit his job and starts a new one in a few weeks. He will also be starting counselling. We’ve been getting along fine. Says he’d like to work through it. But won’t allow access to the phone, major red flag but okay. Doesn’t feel need to block and delete OW as she won’t contact him he won’t contact her- another major red flag

All sounds confusing right? Well what he hasn’t realised is I know exactly which is her number on the phone bill and can see they are still in contact daily! Am I upset? Surprised? Not at all!

I feel I’m in a better place mentally, I see him for exactly who he is and over this year have figured out how he tries to play me. I will continue to play happy families for Christmas with him until I’m able to get out of here. But at the same time still keeping my guard firmly up and implementing the 180!

I’m glad you are coming from a place of strength.

Proud of you! I know how hard this is and how annoying it is to have to pretend, but you are doing the right thing.

I’m not sure how you control yourself when he lies right to your face that he’snot in contact w/ the OW. That probably deserves an Academy Award performance lol.