Pogre ( member #86173) posted at 10:35 PM on Tuesday, January 6th, 2026
jailedmind wrote:
You think you can do it on your own but it is a relentless beast. Back then betrayal trauma wasn't a thing. Now it's PTSD . Getting help with this early on and getting the tools to mitigate the damage is crucial. The more your neural pathways get programmed with the infidelity the worse it will be years later. And it's a lot.
Damn dude. This really got me. I did some counseling. 8 weeks worth, but I really don't think it was enough. It didn't feel much more than just someone who was willing to listen to me talk about what happened, tell me how awesomely I'm handling everything, and that he's confident I'm going to be okay.
Nrtd, maybe we should become trauma counseling buddies...
Kidding, of course, but seriously, a good trauma counselor would likely do the both of us some good. At 9 months out I'm currently on the fence/leaning heavily into R. My wife is bending over backwards to do everything right. She's done/is doing everything I ask. I can't really ask for much more, but I'm still occasionally plagued by some really strong negative emotions and flashbacks to d day accompanied by memories both real and imagined. This stuff really hurts.
Where am I going... and why am I in this handbasket?
Formerpeopleperson ( member #85478) posted at 10:40 PM on Tuesday, January 6th, 2026
This is a "reconciliation friendly" site.
And I am a proponent of genuine reconciliation when there are children involved.
But,
Sometimes, what has happened makes reconciliation impossible. Sometimes, the personalities of the people involved make reconciliation impossible. It is what it is.
How do you know? Beats me.
But at some point, it may be better for everybody to move on.
Best wishes.
It’s never too late to live happily ever after
