For those who DIDN'T see with their own eyes - count your blessings.
Hippo...
What I am about to relate happened 50 or so years ago.
When I was a teenager I used to pal around and get in harmless trouble with another guy. He was a clown, outgoing, and always joking around... a real prankster. He married a local girl and stayed in our small farming community. I went into the military after graduation and moved on. We lost touch.
Anyway, sometime back in the 70s I was visiting my widowed father who still lived there. He told me a story about something that had happened a year or two prior. He said that my pal and another guy had been hunting in some woods. When they came out of the woods my pal saw his own car parked at the edge of the woods nearby. He wondered what his car was doing there so far out of the way. He and the guy he was hunting with walked over. When they got close they saw both back doors opened. They walked upon my pal's wife and a local man going at it. (This guy she was f**king had a local reputation of having a huge package). I am suprised no one got shot since he and his hunting buddy had their hunting rifles.
My pal and his wife were members of a small local church. The church leaders convinced them to stay together. Told him that since God had forgiven his sins, that he should forgive his wife's sins, etc. So they remained together the rest of their lives. I am sure back then there was no counseling. Being raised back then the way we were, where we were taught to be self-sufficient and take care of our own problems, I am sure that even if counseling was available, it would have been viewed in a bad light... as being mentally incapacitated in some way.
I saw my pal 3-4 times after that when I would go back there to visit... the last time in 2005. Each time we would visit I would try to get him to smile or laugh by reminiscing about some of the stupid stuff we used to do. But I never saw him smile. His eyes always looked sad.
His so-called reconciliation after that egregious betrayal, which he viewed with his own eyes, was the epitome of Rug-Sweeping.
Last week I was speaking with my younger sister who still lives in that area. I told her what I remembered Dad telling me and if I was remembering that correctly. She said, "Oh Yes, that happened". I asked her about my pal after that. She said after that happened he was "pitiful". He always walked around with his head down... like he did not want to look someone in the eye (from shame???), and never seemed to smile again. He passed away about 5 years ago.
Anyway that is the story of someone who viewed the cheating with their own eyes and never got couseling with a qualified counselor who treats PTSD victims. A really sad story.
[This message edited by lrpprl at 8:29 PM, Thursday, September 19th]