fareast ( Moderator #61555) posted at 4:18 PM on Tuesday, January 6th, 2026
Sorry that your WW continues to hurt you. Most importantly right now is to take care of you. You have suffered a real trauma and what you thought was true was a lie. This is not a sprint. You have one year of separation to navigate with kids. Not an easy task. Focus as much as you can on getting yourself back and healthy. When we have a family and are devoted to our partner and kids, and our career, it is easy to lose our identity. Always value yourself. Good luck.
Never bother with things in your rearview mirror. Your best days are on the road in front of you.
WB1340 ( member #85086) posted at 4:26 PM on Tuesday, January 6th, 2026
Just an fyi: iPhone to iPhone texts do not go thru your cellular carrier thus they do not show up in your history. Ask me how I know :/ I almost gave up on my suspicions when I didn't find anything in our Verizon log but thankfully my spidey sense had me check her tablet. She had the frame of mind to delete their sexting just before leaving work each day but I checked her tablet while she was at work.
I think you are doing the right thing with a separation.
D-day April 4th 2024. WW was sexting with a married male coworker. Started R a week later, still ongoing...
Gemmy (original poster new member #86765) posted at 6:12 PM on Tuesday, January 6th, 2026
We are android both but I know as well as any if she wants to hide it she will (use a phone at work, use a burner phone ect.).
Betrayed but trying to stand for the family.
gr8ful ( member #58180) posted at 9:35 PM on Tuesday, January 6th, 2026
We are android both but I know as well as any if she wants to hide it she will (use a phone at work, use a burner phone ect.).
The whole "check the phone bill" is about 99% useless advise these days as NO app-based messaging or app-based calling will EVER show up on a cellular invoice. Polygraph would be the only way you MIGHT be able know with any confidence whatsoever she’s remained NC.
I would ask you to reflect deeply on what you’re trying to save. Ask yourself if you knew everything that she would do when you met her, would you be eager to start a relationship? That question is absolutely relevant because at the very least, you’d be starting over with her. Feeling bad she was caught and shedding some tears is absolutely no indication she’s had a full change of character - and that’s the only way she could ever be a safe(r) partner to anyone. Do you think she has a complete integrity transformation in her? Is she willing to crawl over broken glass THE REST OF HER LIFE to keep any kind of relationship with you?
To the peanut gallery: I am not saying she must flagellate herself for all eternity. I’m saying she needs to have the attitude NOW to be willing to do exactly that because true reconciliation is a LIFELONG effort.
